**by Ashlea Kielar, LPC-IT**

Ashlea is a Licensed Professional Counselor in-training serving Wauwatosa, Elm Grove, and Brookfield, WI. Her approach is collaborative and rooted in the belief that healing comes from within. She specializes in trauma-informed care, including relational wounds, boundary challenges, and perfectionism, and incorporates brainspotting to help clients process experiences on a deeper, mind-body level. She is passionate about helping individuals reconnect with themselves and move toward a more grounded, empowered way of living.

When was the last time you took a moment to check in with your toolbox?

Not the one filled with hammers and screwdrivers, but your internal toolbox: the collection of skills, practices, and supports you rely on to navigate everyday life. Especially when things feel heavy, overwhelming, or out of control.

This toolbox isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build over time with intention, curiosity, and often with support. If you’re on a healing journey, there’s a good chance you’ve already started assembling yours. Maybe through therapy, you’ve explored grounding techniques, mindfulness practices, or new ways to care for yourself in difficult moments. Each of these becomes a tool you can return to when you need it most.

But here’s the most important part: Only you get to decide what belongs in your toolbox.

You are the expert on your body and your internal experience. You’re the one who notices when something feels “off,” when stress begins to build, or when emotions feel harder to regulate. Just like you would choose specific tools to fix different things around your home, your internal toolbox should be tailored to support you in the ways you actually need.

What Might Be in Your Toolbox?

Everyone’s toolbox will look a little different, but here are a few categories of tools that many people find helpful:

Self-Care (The Basics Matter)

Self-care isn’t always about elaborate routines or indulgent rituals. In fact, during stressful or overwhelming moments, those things can feel out of reach. Sometimes, self-care looks like the basics: getting enough sleep, eating regularly, and staying hydrated.

These small, foundational acts help regulate your nervous system and create a sense of internal safety. They matter more than we often give them credit for because they meet your body exactly where it is.

Mindfulness (Coming Back to the Present)

Mindfulness is simply the practice of returning your awareness to the present moment. This might look like breathwork, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation. These practices aren’t about forcing yourself to feel calm, they’re about noticing what’s already there and allowing your body to settle at its own pace.

Over time, mindfulness can support emotional awareness, grounding, and a greater sense of control.

Sensory Resourcing (Using Your Environment for Support)

Your senses can be powerful tools for creating a sense of safety. Take a moment to consider what feels most comforting to you:

Sound: calming music or a familiar playlist
Touch: a weighted blanket, something warm or cool in your hands
Smell: a favorite perfume or essential oil
Sight: soft lighting, calming visuals
Taste: something warm or familiar

Sensory tools can help you shift your environment in subtle but meaningful ways, especially when things feel overwhelming.

Journaling (A Space to Process and Reflect)

Journaling offers a place to explore your inner world. There’s no “right” way to do it. You might write about your day, process emotions, list gratitudes, or reflect on your strengths. It doesn’t have to be daily or structured; it’s simply a space to check in and get curious about your experience.

Other Tools

Your toolbox might also include:

Going for a walk
Spending time outdoors
Practicing yoga or movement
Connecting with someone you trust
Attending therapy regularly

There’s no limit to what can be included, only what feels supportive and accessible to you.

Building a Toolbox That Works for You

Creating your toolbox is a deeply personal process. What works well for someone else might not work for you and that’s okay.

Tools are only useful if they feel accessible and familiar. Just like physical tools, they need to be used and maintained. Practicing them regularly, even when things feel steady, makes it easier to reach for them when life feels more intense.

Working with a therapist can be incredibly helpful in discovering new tools, but it’s always okay to speak up if something doesn’t feel like the right fit. Therapy is meant to be collaborative. If a tool doesn’t resonate, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, it just means you keep exploring.

And when something does work? That’s something worth practicing, both in and outside of sessions, in a way that feels manageable for you.

When Things Feel Out of Control

Lately, many people have been carrying a deep sense of uncertainty and lack of control. If you’ve been feeling that too, you’re not alone. While we can’t always change what’s happening around us, we can influence how we respond.

That’s where your toolbox becomes so important. It supports you in finding small moments of steadiness, even when everything else feels unpredictable.